Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize