My room smells like vodka and shame
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
