I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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