I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
