The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
i need some magic done to my vagina
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
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