God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
