But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
