areolas are like halos for boobs.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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