Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
This is the high leading the old right now
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
