i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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