It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize