She announced her abortion via fbk
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
