went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
