she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Everclear isn't food dammit
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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