You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
