he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
You may now shotgun with the bride
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
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