are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
