I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I pour the whiskey from now on
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
