It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
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