Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
