we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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