That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
This couple is walking their pig around campus
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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