I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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