The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Randomize
