It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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