fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
