I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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