I wish life had little blips of pornography
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
