oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
