Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
