I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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