so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
