I like to think it a success when the cops are called
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize