Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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