You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
