I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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