sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
