Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
