I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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