he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
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