I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I just googled if crying burns calories
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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