I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
