After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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