I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
