Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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