i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
