White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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