hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
can u get pink eye on your cock?
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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