We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Randomize
