If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Randomize
