i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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