i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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