It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
