So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
