I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
My day in three words: secret purse cake
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Randomize
