I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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