Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
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