he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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