Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
