Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
