bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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