Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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