Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
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