new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
