Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
