The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
birth control should be required to get into college
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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