Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
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