No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Randomize