i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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