I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
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