Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
