Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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