Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize