he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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