...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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