I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
