Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
You need a sexual gate keeper
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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