You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
