I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
